Home Alone

I am grateful for a husband who is a hard, diligent worker. He works at Brick Over restaurant three nights a week, while I stay at home. During my home alone time I try to get caught up on homework, clean the house, do laundry, etc. But sometimes I seriously just want to watch a movie, sleep, or aimlessly surf the internet. It is during tempting times like these that I think of my husband, and that helps me forge ahead to be a productive wife.

All around me there are these super women. 23, graduated, 2 kids, working to put their husband through grad school, taking care of their house, attend the temple once a week, and still find time to make their house look perfect. I have two feelings about this. One, they are either seriously abusing meth. Or two, they feel tired, worn down, and sick.

My mom used to have every thing so perfect. She would doll me up in these cute frilly dresses, have a clean house, and work too. After I grew up and moved out for my freshman year of college, she said her biggest regret was not playing with me enough because she was worried about getting the dishes done from dinner, or picking up the toys in my playroom.

Wow, high school I was something of a super woman myself. Early morning seminary, cheer leading, field hockey, 4.0 club all four years, 10 musicals, SGA, Laural President, All-State Choir, band, drum captain, drum major, and the list could go on and on.

Looking back no wonder I was thin! I had NO time to eat! I have many good memories from all my activities, but with those memories also comes regret. I regret over scheduling myself. I regret not being able to spend more quality time with my family, and I regret not devoting myself as much as I should to my church callings.

Spreading yourself so thin leads to depression, anxiety, sleep deprivation, and very low immunity levels. I don't know how Brad does it and NEVER gets stressed, upset, sick, or anything. It's amazing!

I think Brad is like this because he is great at prioritizing and not getting overwhelmed with little tasks. When we were first married I couldn't go to sleep if I knew there were a few dirty dishes in the sink! Boy, times have changed! He has helped me realize that spending time with each other and with school work is the most important thing right now. Not making sure that my house is absolutely spotless every second of every day.

Now there are grocery sale paper, spiral notebooks, laptops and books piled up on my kitchen, and it doesn't really bother me. Our house looks lived in. Not dirty, not really messy, but lived in. I hope the way our house looks now can symbolize my life from here on out. I won't always have the perfect body or features, I'll put my best efforts forth to keep myself clean and presentable to the Lord, but most of all I will drink in all the beautiful and small things in life that make it worth living. Things like the way Brad cha-cha's to make me roll with laughter, or the way we say our prayers in cute kid voices like our primary class because it makes us feel more meek and submissive, or when I really listen intently to Brad going on and on about BYU athletics and how we haven't gone into overtime in a Basketball game against Utah since 1991!

Those little memories will be more important than whether I vacuumed or volunteered for 30 organizations, or made everything perfect all the time. I hope to have this same mentality when I have children and all the obligations that come along with that responsibility.